A Tip

Last night when I picked up my Little Bean at daycare, I was talking with one of her teachers and I asked about tummy time and how that was going. Would you even believe that Little Bean's teacher said "Great; she loves looking at the other kids."

What?

At home she screams like I laid her down on a bed of hypodermic needles. Needless to say, tummy time is far and between at my house, which possibly isn't so good for her little head (which I check obsessively to ensure no flatness... ) but I'm not talking about some whining when she's face down. I'm talking about bloody-murder "Holy Crap I hope the neighbors don't call Dyfus to come check on me" type screams.

But apparently hanging out on the floor with her little friends makes it more tolerable. So worth the large check I write out weekly.

So back to my Tip of the Week.

Just because daycare isn't the worst thing ever doesn't mean going back to work is awesome... or even a little bit fun. It's just necessary. But know what makes it a little bit better? A card from my mom in the mail that says lots of really nice stuff about me being a bad ass mom & includes a Starbucks gift card... you know, for the early morning drive to work when you're sort of still asleep. And then a call from my sister on Friday night asking how our first week was, and what did Little Bean do at school (we call daycare school... so what) and how was my week back at work and just some general, old fashioned support to let me know that she was thinking about us.

And then know what showed up at my office yesterday, on my first Monday back at work?

A box of happiness from my sister with a note that said she hoped this would help me get through the day a little easier. And you know what? It did.

I know that we made the decision that was right for us, but having that support system is amazing. And the card, phone call, and box of cookies? All came with the general message of "I know work sucks but maybe this will help it suck less". And I felt loved and supported, even though those 3 ladies live 3 hours away from me.

The take away? If you know someone going back to work after however many amazing weeks of maternity leave they had, send a card to their office letting them know you're thinking about them. Bonus points for gift cards for caffeine :-) And do NOT mention daycare sucking, because really? That is probably how you feel... not the parents. The parents probably found a daycare situation they love and feel 100% comfortable with... so keep your negativity to yourself. But bitching and moaning about work? Totally acceptable. I mean, it's called work for a reason.

1 week down...

Dude, daycare is so not terrible. We all survived our first week with 2 working parents, and shockingly, I was totally fine.

In the last few days of maternity leave, I didn't feel upset about having to send my sweet girl to daycare... but I figured I'd feel differently on my first day back to work. The night before my first day back, I made two lunches (one for me, and one for Ryan), packed up Baby Girl's bottles (5, just in case), ironed everything (still in love with these), and went to bed.

On Wednesday morning, we woke up super early, got everyone ready and out the door, and truthfully, I didn't even have time to be sad because I had to get my ass to work and desperately needed a coffee.

I checked emails, scheduled meetings, ate lunch, pumped (so weird to do this at work), and all of a sudden it was 3pm... only 2 more hours until I could leave to pick up my baby. The day just flew by - I didn't even have time to be upset... or whatever it is I was "supposed" to be feeling.

All day people stopped by my office to ask how I was "coping" and if "I was ok".

Um, I sent my baby to daycare.... not jail.

Actually, I sent my baby to the best daycare we could find (obviously it was also the most expensive)... we love their set-up and teachers, and feel 100% comfortable leaving our baby there. Duh? Otherwise we would have found another one. It's not like I dropped off my kid on the street corner and said see ya later.

So then I was like maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm supposed to be sad? About what, though? I mean, I would clearly rather stay home with my kid.... but I'd also rather not eat Ramen noodles every night for dinner and I'd also like to make multiple trips to Disney World. Oh, and I'd like another kid at some point. And college savings accounts for said children. And clothes from Gymboree (baby) and Ann Taylor Loft (me). And I'd really love to go back to our honeymoon resort.

And these things? Not possible on one salary in our chosen career path (& with our student loan payments). Therefore, I am a working mom. Case closed.

But anyway, people would ask me how I was coping, and at first, I was like "Oh, Ryan did drop off and he said she was super smiley and was looking at the other babies. Sounds like she is happy!" And then they were all like "OH wow, you aren't upset or anything?" And I was all like "Uh, I mean, we like our daycare..."

And then they'd say "oh... yeah... that's great". Cue weird "shouldn't you be crying in the fetal position in the corner" look.

Why do I feel like I have to defend my choice in child care?

It's one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't things: Totally fine with daycare? Clearly you don't love your child. Slinking through work with tear tracks down your face and crumpled tissues in your fist? Clearly you need to get a grip and just suck it up. People look at you weird either way. Why?

No, really. Why?

19 weeks

19 weeks today, just 1 week shy of half-baked! Here's the belly: And a nekkid belly, because this shirt does a good job of making it less intense than it really is:

So yesterday was the big ultrasound... and you'll have to wait 2 more days till the reveal here, because we have a big dinner planned with our families for tomorrow night. So what do you think - boy or girl? I promise I'll share on Monday!

As a side note - it's all fun and games until you need to pick out daycare. We visited 2 centers today and it was intense. We liked one way more than the other and have one more to visit before we make a decision..... or until we win the lottery and I can be a stay at home mom. Anyone have a money tree they want to share?