1 week down...

Dude, daycare is so not terrible. We all survived our first week with 2 working parents, and shockingly, I was totally fine.

In the last few days of maternity leave, I didn't feel upset about having to send my sweet girl to daycare... but I figured I'd feel differently on my first day back to work. The night before my first day back, I made two lunches (one for me, and one for Ryan), packed up Baby Girl's bottles (5, just in case), ironed everything (still in love with these), and went to bed.

On Wednesday morning, we woke up super early, got everyone ready and out the door, and truthfully, I didn't even have time to be sad because I had to get my ass to work and desperately needed a coffee.

I checked emails, scheduled meetings, ate lunch, pumped (so weird to do this at work), and all of a sudden it was 3pm... only 2 more hours until I could leave to pick up my baby. The day just flew by - I didn't even have time to be upset... or whatever it is I was "supposed" to be feeling.

All day people stopped by my office to ask how I was "coping" and if "I was ok".

Um, I sent my baby to daycare.... not jail.

Actually, I sent my baby to the best daycare we could find (obviously it was also the most expensive)... we love their set-up and teachers, and feel 100% comfortable leaving our baby there. Duh? Otherwise we would have found another one. It's not like I dropped off my kid on the street corner and said see ya later.

So then I was like maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm supposed to be sad? About what, though? I mean, I would clearly rather stay home with my kid.... but I'd also rather not eat Ramen noodles every night for dinner and I'd also like to make multiple trips to Disney World. Oh, and I'd like another kid at some point. And college savings accounts for said children. And clothes from Gymboree (baby) and Ann Taylor Loft (me). And I'd really love to go back to our honeymoon resort.

And these things? Not possible on one salary in our chosen career path (& with our student loan payments). Therefore, I am a working mom. Case closed.

But anyway, people would ask me how I was coping, and at first, I was like "Oh, Ryan did drop off and he said she was super smiley and was looking at the other babies. Sounds like she is happy!" And then they were all like "OH wow, you aren't upset or anything?" And I was all like "Uh, I mean, we like our daycare..."

And then they'd say "oh... yeah... that's great". Cue weird "shouldn't you be crying in the fetal position in the corner" look.

Why do I feel like I have to defend my choice in child care?

It's one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't things: Totally fine with daycare? Clearly you don't love your child. Slinking through work with tear tracks down your face and crumpled tissues in your fist? Clearly you need to get a grip and just suck it up. People look at you weird either way. Why?

No, really. Why?