Stocking Up (+ a little something extra)

I put in my 2 weeks at the mall yesterday, which means I have exactly 2 weeks to thoroughly abuse my employee discount.

Post-discount, however, shouldn't be too bad because I've figured out the sale cycles and can start using store coupons (a no-go for employees) and savings cards. Or I can just do what I did before working at the mall.... don't go. Ha, that's a quick way to save some money, huh?

Two weeks... two weeks... gonna have so much spare time in just two weeks! I have high hopes of taking the dog for long walks, hiking with Ryan on the weekends, and doing lots of home projects. The best part, though, is not having to come up with an excuse to not be able to work on Tuesday nights. LOST is back on in 2 weeks!
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Last night we watched a TLC special called Twins... (more than you know, or revealed, or something like that). They followed a few different sets of twins around and did some studies, but the best part was the pregnant woman who went in for a c-section. I wasn't paying attention too much, and though she was going in for a ultrasound. I glanced up at the tv, saw the whole set up, and asked Ryan what is going on. He tells me "um, one of those c-section things". Sure enough, she gets sliced open. I am watching in awe, and I hear Ryan gagging behind me. I guess the doctor cut through the uterus, because a dark-haired head popped out. Ryan just about threw up. It was hysterical.

Then he says "Oh, it's so wet". I asked him what he thought the kid was swimming in for 9 months, and he says "But there's that much water in there?".

I say "yes, there's a shit ton in there."

He says "I'm bringing a Sham-Wow."

Tales from the Mall

Yesterday at Job #2 I was in the fitting room (or should I say The Wardrobe) cleaning out the heaps of clothing people leave strewn all over. I was minding my own business, picking up clothes and hangers, when a woman came out of her fitting room. She was looking around, seemingly lost. I asked her if she needed any help. Not looking directly at me (as she was apparently waiting for someone to come to the fitting room), she replied:

“Well, I want to buy this top as a gift for someone, but she’s, um, big…bigger than I am. More hip-y ::motions with hands to indicate very wide hips:: And I can’t find anyone who is about her size.”

She then looks at me. She looks me up and down, and then says, “Come to think of it, you’re her size. Can you try this on for me?”

FML. In shock, I tried it on. It fit. She bought it.

And the rest of the afternoon was spent thinking, “Wait, what just happened?”