Until last night. At one day shy of 30 weeks, I have officially entered the realm of zero sleep.
We went up to bed at 10:45pm, and Baby Girl chose that time to stretch out... but not just some nice, pre-sleep stretches. The kind of stretching that you see marathoners doing before the start of a race, with legs over here and butts over there and arms over the head... the whole nine.
So I toss and turn for a bit, trying to get comfortable. I can hear Ryan fidgeting, which adds to my stress. Why I can't sleep if he's not sleeping is beyond me, but I can't. Never could.
At this point I decide to get up to pee. Maybe that will work.
No, it just gives her more room.
It's 1am, Ryan is sleeping, Baby Girl is rocking out. Maybe she has the new Lady Gaga single in there. I have no idea.
At 2am I remember I have a full length body pillow from college. I roll out of bed, retrieve it from the baby's room closet, and smash it in bed. At this time my bed is full of my fat ass, my husband, my body pillow, and my dog. Also, it's hot, but apparently Ryan is fine under the covers. Why am I sweating? Are there really people outside talking? It's a Wednesday night.
I believe I fell asleep sometime after that due to sheer exhaustion (and my iron deficiency?) but woke up promptly at 4am to pee. An empty bladder means more room for first pumping, so my little Jersey Girl promptly resumed her dance party.
As a side note, it's vaguely weird that my girl won't be a true Jersey girl, seeing as she'll be born in Maryland. Weird.
I climbed back into my now very over-crowded bed, post-pee, and waited for Baby Girl to settle down. I'm almost positive I fell asleep about 30 seconds prior to the blaring alarm clock at 6am, because I normally don't shit myself when that thing goes off. I didn't really shit myself... you know what I mean.
The "so what" to all of this is that it's happening. I've been walking around with this gut for the past 30 weeks, buying maternity clothes and picking out adorable onesies and crib sheets.
It's all fun and games when you're registering for little sleep sacks (back to sleep!) and cutting edge bottles (mimics mom for less nipple confusion!) and requesting fabric samples from Land Of Nod (does the yellow in the curtain "go" with the pink from the crib skirt?).
And then all of a sudden you can't sleep and your back hurts and you have to pick out a pediatrician and you're 30 weeks pregnant.... I swear it just snuck up on me. If these next 10 weeks go by as fast as these last 30 did, I am in big trouble... I still have baseboards to scrub, pediatricians to meet, and diapers to stock up on.
Oh, and birth classes to go to. Five weeks of graphic descriptions, starting September 15. Do birth classes scare anyone else, or is it just me?