I don't even have a title that really explains how crazy I am.

Last night I was in my car driving (alone, thank God) and listening to my iPod. A random Taylor Swift song came on that I'd never heard. It had a mellow, yet catchy beat, and as I listened to the words, my eyes started tearing up.

When Ryan and I talk about children, we always have a theoretical daughter. I have no idea why, we just always say "she" and I daydream about little dresses and bows and our little girl hanging out with our dog and laying on the couch with her dad. Ryan always talks about a little girl in a big dress playing tea party with our dog (the dog is also wearing a dress in his mind). When we talk about this theoretical daughter of ours, she is always a baby or toddler. On occasion we talk about things we want to do when "the kids" are older, like drive cross-country and hit the major landmarks, and they are always "the kids" not "our singular daughter". But when we talk about having a baby, it is always a girl and our thoughts never really progress past the tea party.

But last night, driving home and listening to that Taylor Swift song, I all of a sudden had a crystal clear image of Ryan dancing with our daughter at her wedding. I couldn't see her face (though she had brown hair all pulled up) as her back was to me, but I could see his, and he was smiling so hard....

I listened to the song again and I realized good old Taylor Swift is singing about her mother. Of course, tears were just streaming down my face at that point, and I knew that we are so ready to be parents. Now if only our bank account would have that realization....

Here's the video to my new favorite song - "The Best Day", by Taylor Swift:



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