First it was True Life: I own a Summer Share. I can appreciate a guy thinking he might find love at the Jersey Shore. Seaside Heights isn't the classiest place, and I have no idea who really goes to Temptations (Temps, my husband tells me, is what the cool kids call it), but fine. Fine.
The it was True Life: I'm a Jersey Girl. Some girls like to fake bake. And flaunt their orange asses on tv. Fine.
And then The Real Housewifes of New Jersey. This one wasn't any worse then the real housewives of any other city, so fine. They talk to their bubbies. Whatever.
But really, MTV? The Jersey Shore? Where did you FIND these people? Now, before you get all up in arms over this, I can assure you that I am, in fact, from New Jersey. I like not having to pump my own gas, I can navigate both a circle and a jughandle, and I went to Rutgers. (I also have an undying love for Tony Soprano, but that's not the point here). You know what? I even kind of ENJOY hearing folks make fun of New Jersey, because secretly, I know that New Jersey is bad ass. It's not all Turnpikes and oil refineries. I swear it's called The Garden State for a reason.
But back to my original question - why, MTV? I realize you're based in New York, and everyone knows that New York thinks New Jersey is it's shitty little sister. I get that - we hear about it every nine seconds on SNL. But why would you create this disaster of a show? Why would you showcase the worst that New Jersey has to offer?
That being said, I wanted to share my Jersey Shore nickname: The Marisa Tomei of the Bronx.
And because I know you want to know what your Jersey Shore nickname is, just click the link above, type in your name, click male or female, and then.... wait for it...... wait for it..... click FIST PUMP. Your nickname will then pop up. Get a fake tan, ask people to call you The Price of Paramus, and call up MTV. I promise you'll get your own show.