Turkey + Stuffing = Delicious

It's T-33 hours till my 20lb bird goes in the oven. In the mean time, care to hear about the fancy Thanksgiving I have planned?

The Bird: My first time cooking Thanksgiving turkey was in 2005. It was just me, the boy, our puppy, and a table full of Thanksgiving food. We sat down to eat, thrilled to death with the meal we had just made, and I burst into tears because we had a 14lb turkey (plus all of the trimmings) and no one to share it with (well, except each other). Even thinking about it now makes me tear up. Anywho, I have no idea where I got the recipe, but here's what we do:

Get a turkey. Mine's 20 lbs. Gather up an onion, 2 lemons, a bunch of fresh rosemary (has to be fresh - I know it's more expensive, but just trust me), and some whole garlic (not the minced stuff in the jar, unless you have that on hand to eat while cooking the bird; what, I like it). Dig out the giblets and all that good (terrible) stuff. Rinse the turkey in cold water and pat it dry. Yum. Cut the onion and one lemon into quarters and jam it all into the turkey (hopefully you introduced yourself to the bird prior to all of this). Take about half of the rosemary and do the same. Feel free to throw in as much garlic as you want. Now, slice up the lemon. Use your finger to seperate the turkey's skin from it's muscles. Slice the sliced lemons in those pockets. Then, melt a stick of butter (I use salted) and pull the rosemary leaves off of the stems and deposit that into the melted butter. Brush the whole turkey with the rosemary butter. Toss it in the oven at 325 (degrees F) until a thermometer in the thigh reads 180 degrees F. I promise it will be delish.

The Stuffing: It involves sausage, cranberries, and a host of other deliciousness. It's a secret family recipe. Sorry, folks.

The Potatos: We go both ways at my house - white mashed and whole sweet. Don't tell my husband, but this year I'm making the mashed potatos just the way he likes them - completely whipped (normally I used a hand masher because I love lumps). I'm going to throw in some garlic (the minced kind in the jar), butter, milk, and a little bit of salt. Again, it's going to be delish. As for the sweet potatos, we're going to go a little non-traditional and cut them up into seasoned sweet potato fries.

The Gravy: It comes in a glass jar with a green label that says Fat Free Turkey Gravy. Do not judge me.

The Cranberry Sauce: I heart Ocean Spray Jellied Cranberry Sauce. The kind that comes out of the can whole, complete with ridges. I love to put a huge spoonful in my mouth and sort of suck it between my teeth, just like Jell-O. For the adults at the table, my mom will be preparing whole-berry cranberry sauce. Boo to that.

The Veggie: Roasted asparagus with garlic (notice a trend?) and turkey bacon (because turkey and sausage stuffing is just not enough meat).

The Bread: Corn bread muffins and dinner rolls. We wanted to make sure there were enough carbs to go around.

The Dessert: Vanilla ice cream and pumpkin pie. Thanks, Mom :-)

The After Dinner Drink: I bought a heinously expensive bottle of pumpkin spice syrup from Williams-Sonoma. I have a Tassimo coffee maker that does lattes (2 minutes from flipping the machine on to scalding your mouth with delicious foamed milk). See where this is going? I can't wait to try the syrup!

So that's my menu. Delicious, to-the-point Thanksgiving Goodness. And I get to use my fancy turkey roasting pan. Anyone else making a full dinner? What's your timeline? I'm always bad at making sure everything is done at the same time.